Our higher power is the ultimate nurturer. Why would we not want to improve our conscious contact with our spiritual side?
This is important to the Step 11 and treating it with priority and applying to it the significance it deserves.
People with addiction problems have also experienced huge self devaluation which has a evolutionary threat system that engages with a dysfunctional defence system for protection against pain. The brains way of responding to this threat has evolutionary survival purposes that trigger anxiety, anger and depression.
The Step 11 is about helping the brain to engage in a different system that enables it to feel safe again. This is about soothing, caring, connection, love and kindness. If you imagine a vulnerable child who is scared and shaking in the corner of a room. How are you going to reach out and sooth that child. is this by being impatient, critical and devaluing or by gentle connection, compassion and wanting to create safety for that child.
The same applies to the self as we all have that vulnerable inner child. The Step 11 can help us maintain safety by the nurturing connection to our spiritual side. It helps to strengthen our soothing system which is about feeling cared for, accepted and having a sense of belonging which is fundamental to our physiological maturation and well-being.
Feeling a positive sense of well being, contentment and safeness are associated with an increased level of the hormones endorphins and oxytocin. These have been associated with lower mood disorders and stress.
Therefore, the Step 11 is powerful in developing and strengthening helpful patterns of relating to our selves and others. Its a nurturing step that is about well-being, safety, compassion, acceptance, understanding, guidance and strength.
It’s about giving ourselves what we deserve in making conscious contact. If we have nurturing compassion we have so much.. We can seek guidance and feel safe. We can engage with gentle wisdom and feel peace. It is about a presence of kindness without overindulgence. That is why the step 11 mentions praying for the knowledge of” his will for us and the power to carry that out”. This has meanings attached of its not all about the self absorbed self. The soothing system is about so many different things that don’t apply to selfish needs that often mean we are never fulfilled.
Selfish needs and we cannot really take nurture into our hearts. Our spiritual giving side allows us the true nurture and compassion to really let the warmth permeate our hearts and souls. This is about what real compassion and nurture hold for us. Why would we not want to embrace the Step 11 with willing and open hearts?