I see people as having internal little professors inside them which is part of their child ego state.  It is the parent in the child that made the decisions on how to create safety structures at that particular time in life.  A sophisticated part of the human being that is creative and resilient in looking after itself.  It is our survival of the species and we all have different ways of doing this and getting through life.  As adults some of what we do may not make sense but if we take it to the little professor in understanding psychological process it actually makes logical sense.  For example “why be close if i don’t believe i am lovable”  Because i was not shown this when i was little which means you will push me away.  Why Not “Dont Exist” if i had a nasty parent that may be abusive to me so being quite as though i am  not there is safer.  Why Not “Be really clever and the best” because then i get lots of positives from my parents who I love, otherwise I may not get these strokes and they make me happy.  Why Not – Be a princess and get everything i want to feel good and loved as this is what i experienced as i was growing up and therefore see as being loved now.  Why Not split of from who i am in order to deal with a pain that is so bad inside i think i may not be able to live if i don’t do this.  All of this within the child makes logical emotional sense.  These statements are just the language we put to these profound life script defences and sophisticated strategies.  These strategies were decided from a place of emotion and feeling.  Therefore we don’t always remember the reasons for the decisions which were based on feeling.  That is why  I often find language as arbitrary in being able to capture the essence of these mechanisms and  human constructs for safety.  It informs me how scared we are as animals and how some of us have had the most impact full experiences.  Therefore, these processes define us and the fabric of what is constructed in our early journey makes sense in that part of our story.  This is why i always honour the Little Professor within.  What has kept anyone safe deserves this as a humanistic connection. Afterall, what keeps us safe needs acknowledging, understanding and thanking.  This process in itself creates a safety and makes change more palatable.