This is my favourite step and is powerful in its gentle nature. “Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings”. The whole emphasis is on humility. Bill Wilson “As long as we placed self reliance first a genuine reliance upon a higher power was out of the question. The basic ingredients of all humility, a desire to seek and do Gods Will was missing. Humility is not something to be resisted but to be accepted and embraced. We have the capacity for this and it is a gift that deserves to be used. The eyes “perception” can open up to immense values which can keep the painful ego under control. The “heart” becomes open to warmth and love for others which in turn feeds the self. Being humble is being open to the Will of our Higher Power in our life, however, that may be expressed. As step 6 the step 7 is never completed but a commitment to a certain principled way of living. The removal and reduction of shortcomings is a life long process. The executive of our shortcoming engine has been fear and a selfish neediness to cover this or manage this feeling. Our fear based ways are about loosing something we would need. Not possessing enough or failing to get what we demand. Living with this dis-satisfaction means being in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. This is the power of step 7. As it is about a change in attitude which permits us with humility as our guide to move our of self and towards others. This in turn feeds us healthy emotionality as we choose a different moral compass in life which has a feel good factor.
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One very surprising result of the 12 step insight was that I became aware of how self-centred I had been in the past. My justification for this was I suppose my own pain. When I was hurting this made me sometimes oblivious to the feelings of others. It took me a while for this to sink in. My fear formed a barrier to others and caused a discounting of others pain. I didn’t actively try to hurt others but my own egocentric position led me to do so. I knew I was really kind hearted and thats what I would be -if only I could get happy first. Humility is not a popular word but it actually shows real strength and power. It’s the antidote to pride.
The “idealized self,” the “tyranny of the should,” the “pride system” and the nature of self-hate all point toward the intertwined relationship between neurotic pride and self-contempt. (Cooper, 112–3).