The Step 9 is  about taking appropriate action and making direct amends wherever possible.  This gives a sense of giving to others a kind of  message that “Your Okay”.  This then represents a fundamental stance on a certain principle of treating others with kindness and respect.  This then has the impact of giving the self a message of “I’m Okay”.  This represents a fundamental stance a person takes up about the essential value they perceive in themselves.

In addiction ones life position is inevitably compromised because of the situation, experiences and trauma.  Messages on life and others are distorted, deluded and often hold little value or belief.  That’s is why the illness is full of denial, self will and emotional insanity.  With all of this its no wonder that addicts often hold the futility position of “I’m not Okay and You’re Not Okay”.  This position often has an ulterior message of “Get Nowhere With”.  Its has a cycle of script which is about being stuck in chaos, pain, drama or resentful passivity which can leave one hopeless, drained and depressed.

Although life script theory and the position one takes is seen as being written in early ages.  The formation of script is about childhood strategies and has certain convictions about the self, others and the environment at that time.  These existential positions I think can change as a consequence of life and addiction.  Or one can live out a tragic or destructive script by addiction.  This could be to justify a decision based on early experience. .  Any totality truth here is by the by and not really important to investigate.

The significant is that the action of the Step 9 has the potential to invite an individual into a more centred, soulful and healthy life position.  Claude Steiner wrote about the significance of early life being responsible for the life position of “I’m Okay”.  He sees its origins being in the earliest months of nursing.  It reflects the comfortable, mutual, interdependence between healthy feeding and attachment.  Its about basic trust for development, nurturing, love and being at one with the world.

This is where the 12 steps process has the potential for the individual to be in attachment to life and others in a much more mutual, comfortable, nurturing and trusting way.  The fellowship gives a sense of belonging, connection and love.  The idea of being at one with the world as people and intimately sharing with each other.

To make amends is intimately sharing with another regardless of the outcome.  It gives opportunity for a healthy attachment to start again.  This is with others which has the consequence of a more healthy attachment to the self.  This is were addicts can often feel re-born by the process of healing which is significant to their life path of choice.

The life position can impact ones basic belief about self and others, which can then be used in decisions and behaviours.  By making the decision to take action Step 9 and Make Amends you are choosing the healthy position.  This is  for self and whoever you have chosen to make amends to.  During this very process there is an ulterior message that is healthy and about “Getting on With”.  This can be defined as getting on with others, Getting on with life.  Getting on with the Self” “Getting on with living with spiritual connection”. etc etc  It gives the potent message of “Each time I have an interaction from this position, I reinforce my belief that I and others in the world are Okay”. HOW LIBERATING AND REFRESHING.

To carry the debris of resentment is a killer for the soul.  To love the self is to ask why one would want to carry toxic emotion in the body.  Resentment is like a poison which creates a bitter and twisted pain.

Resentment can create inappropriate anger which can grown and get heavier and heavier becoming harder to suppress and manage.  This is when people explode or act out their emotions inappropriately.  The dis-placement of internal resentment and anger which can be projected onto others because the individual can no longer hold it all themselves.  This is why holding onto resentment has negative consequences and the potential to be harmful and hurtful.

It creates strong emotions that can  mean being reactive and not in healthy adult control.  This can create fear which means being ungrounded, unstable and neurotic.    This is whether acted out externally or internalised which has consequences on individual health,  It is like a personal threat or attack on the self which can result in many dire consequences.

Individuals can literally morph into a visual resentment package.  What I mean by this is you can see it by the collection of facial grimaces.  You can see it by the body positions and presentations.  You can see it by the actions they take and how they live their lives.  You can see it in drama and dis-satisfaction.  You can see it in the autonomic nervous system or psychosomatic conditions.  These are psychological and emotional disturbances that create stress and suffering.  That then impacts physically and has consequences on health.

Resentment can breed hostility, rage and hatred.  Resentment has created wars, death,  fragmentation of identity and separations of family and love..   Even if one has been impacted by another’s resentment it is not worth doing the “eye for an eye” “a tooth for a tooth”.  It will only hurt the self and create more sickness.

It is much better to realise that people who have wronged are themselves suffering.  Its much better to accept life and and the complexity of human beings and relationships.  That spiritual sickness can be thick with resentment.  We may not like what others have done, their symptoms, their behaviours or conduct and the way they disturb us.  However, people get sick with emotional pain and resentment.

For our own self growth we need to have tolerance, pity and patience.  Just like we would have for a sick friend or family member that needs nurturing and understanding.  It really is a choice of developing on the path of spiritual grown and processing resentment and not collecting any-more.  Or not taking the actions required and staying stuck in pain which invites further dis-comfort.

When we look at the analogy of the film Scrooge and the ghost of Marley visiting with the huge chains of his life’s misconduct around him to carry to eternity its very overwhelming.  However, people do carry exceptional baggage because of the fabric of their lives and experiences.

With addiction the experiences of some of this is extreme and traumatic.  This is why the debris needs shifting and processing.  For anything else to grow we have to create the space for this cultivation.  For the opportunity for growth we need the best foundation for healthy change.  Without the action of shifting this debris the individual will have the tendency to stay stuck in a lot of pain and trauma.

The debris collected may include money which can relate to security, greed, conning others and being self indulgent.  The debris may include any criminal offences whether to the authorities and breaking the law.  Or the general principles of living a spiritual life which have been compromised.  This will need action and re-guiding as well as reparations.  The debris may include relationships where one has acted unkindly, selfishly or dishonestly.  The debris may include sexual acting out which can be hurtful to others and be a form of self harm to self rather then about joy, fun and connection. The list of potential debris collected can be endless and diverse.

This is why the processing of debris is such an important part of development.  To take the action of Step 9.  It can provide such a freedom from all the debris and open up the path to a new happiness.  There can be a embracing of evolving in life as an individual rather then staying stuck and in pain.  There can be acknowledgement and joy in responsibility rather then an avoiding of looking at life, the self and  others.  To be in denial is staying stuck, in pain and just existing.  This is why the Step 9 is so powerful, productive, healing and freeing.

With this one has the potential to no longer regret the past or wish to shut the door on it.  The attitude to life can change dramatically and individuals can learn to live life “on life’s terms”.  With this and acceptance of life we can intuitively know how to handle situations which used to create fear within.  With this we can learn that perhaps there is no need to fear as we did.  That perhaps we can take charge, be responsible and care about others and the self.  This in turn feeds our soul in a healthy and loving way which provides its own level of security and warmth.

I really like that we have the opportunity to sweep away the debris which has accumulated in life.  Its so important that people see that they can make this choice and do not have to carry around the “toxic stuff” forever more.  To carry around this debris is a form of unconscious penance which can have consequences on how we perceive ourselves, others and the world.

It reminds me of the ghost Marley in the film Scrooge.  He comes to visit Scrooge to let him know the painful chains of life that he will carry around with him for all eternity unless he changes.  I guess in some ways Scrooge took a Step 9 by changing and becoming giving and making amends to those he was hurtful to. The vision of seeing Marley and the heavy chains that were formed in his life because of greed and nastiness were overwhelming.  Marley’s penance because of his poor conduct and selfishness in life  was an eternity of hell.

When human beings do “Bad Stuff” they usually feel “Bad”.  This is whether they own it or put it to one side because they cannot look at what has been created and what they were part of.  With this we can theorise that human beings are impacted by the pain that they have created.    It forms a frame of reference that has contaminations, distortions and a lot of denial.  These exist because of the experiences collected and how people deal with all this debris which has consequences.  The negative impacts of life will contaminate how we define ourselves, others and reality.  The negative debris of life will mean that we distort how things really are because they may be to painful to look at “FACE ON”.  It is no wonder that in addiction individuals have a frame of reference that has a underpinning of heavy denial.

The carrying around of debris impacts how we perceive thus contributes to a frame of reference that is integrated with pain and the association of many difficult and even traumatic life experiences.  In Transactional Analysis and Script the Frame of Reference is looked at as the structure that is formed by associated responses.  Therefore our formation of self is by our very experiences and the specific stimulations that we have collected.  Analyst Schiff  saw the process as a “filter on reality”.  “a skin that surrounds” our minds, bodies and souls “the skin binds them together”.  In addiction we can see this skin as becoming infected, inflamed and needing treatment.

The frame of reference gives us the patterns in which we integrate our experiences, perceptions and pain. The debris related to an addicts life means that often different worlds are created that are often not in reality. This is why addiction is seen as the illness of insanity and why making sense of the sickness it causes everyone cannot be associated to a logical frame of reference.

To further this it is how we create definitions of the world, self and others.  This is where we can see that script forms part of the frame of reference .  That all in all the frame of reference is in total made up of a large number of definitions.  These when connected to script mean I can ignore features of the here and now situation.  By being in denial or ignoring I can replay this outdated definition of myself, others and the world.

This is why it is so important to take the Step 9 of changing this because in doing so you have the opportunity to let go. To let go of the negative Debris of a Frame of Reference that has been defined by addiction, pain and trauma.  The experiences created by addiction has formed part of ones script process. If one is ill with addiction there are negative definitions of self that are inevitably constructed.   This in itself has distorted the perception of reality so that it fits an Addictive Frame of Reference.  With the Step 9 there is a process of re-defining which is potent and powerful for the victory of change.

The thought of taking action can fill people with deep dread,anxiety and fear.  That is why the steps take courage and the inventory is looked at as drastic action.  Also that individuals are asked to go to any lengths for victory over addiction.

The truth is changes can be made and you can be in control but only if you take action and do not rely on self will.  This is where there can be a transfer from pain to power.  If everybody feels fear when approaching something totally new in life.  Yet so many are out there “doing it” despite the fear.  Then we must conclude that fear is not the problem.  It is how we hold fear and what our life-scripts dictate to us, which can be out of conscious awareness.

This is where taking the action has the power to cross-transact that life-script process which can leave individuals in distress.  It can hold you stuck.  It can create impasses which are de-motivating and de-moralising.  It can leave you passive and bitter.  It can leave you feeling incapacitated.

The secret of managing fear is to move you by taking action to a position of appropriate power.  This does not mean by ego or exploitation or using power to play out one up man ship games.  The power is about being adult, doing the right thing and living with more spiritual connection.  This gives you more heart and more principled living that is relevant to liberation from the negative parts of the script process that can feel like entrapment rather like addiction itself.

In Susan Jeffers book “Fear the Fear and do it Anyway”.  She talks about people becoming accustomed to interacting with you in a certain way.  When that pattern of interaction is broken there is usually impact.  That people can be fearful of moving forward due to people being stuck and habitual.  That there is something about positive people that is light and joyful.  This is the energy that taking action with others can generate.

The Step 9 supports positive action and positive thinking.  It expands vision as we are concerned with others thus, the world is bigger then just the self.  We this we can sense ourselves as part of a much bigger whole that we actually belong to.  We are not alone and we can become aware of purpose, kindness, and fulfilling relationships.

Surly with what is on offer we “can feel the Fear and do it Anyway”.  We can make decisions, we can lighten up,we can take the action to make amends.  Its about taking action with the new script messages that hopefully the other steps have helped to internalise.  I can, I will, I am responsible. I will sort out my problems, I am satisfied, Life is a struggle at times that I can deal with, I can do this even if the feedback I get is terrible.  I don’t have to hide but can be seen and take the action required to live a more relationally fulfilling life.  By making amends I  am caring about myself but also giving to others.

The Step 9 “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

This is an action step .  The importance of this is that “Faith without works is dead”.  If you look at the fact that inventory was taken then already one has subjected themselves to a drastic self appraisal.  This takes courage in itself which is something that one wants in surviving life and doing what is appropriate.

There is something truly liberating about being able to go to others and repair the damage done in the past. In life-script process it is about changing the path that one was going on to leave it open ended and ready for new “stuff”.  This could be in the form of memories, experiences, relationships and being committed to a different way of life that is principled centred.

The fact that one has already done inventory which is self appraisal means that script has been looked at.  Many people want to avoid looking at their life script process because it means their story being more real.  If this is the case in your story and your not satisfied in life and living to your full potential then appraisal means looking at “just that”.  Once its been looked at it becomes real and if one does not make the decisions to change the path then its about the choice to settle with unhappiness, dis-satisfaction and seeing life through tragic and bitter lenses.

The process of taking action cross-transacts the passivity of staying stuck or being on an impasse that may take till the “end of ones life”.  The feeling of fear often leaves people stuck and unhappy with living a joyless existence.  “This is not about life but just existing through it”. The taking action is an important, courageous and liberating step that is empowering.  It can give the message of , you can do this, you really can change your life path for the better. “You have a choice”.

“Take action and communicate where appropriate”.  It is an invitation into an adult way of thinking and being.  Rather then live out script which is usually operated from child feelings which come from the experience in ones past.  Also parental messages transferred from others.  While some messages, beliefs and values may be useful others may be limiting in ones journey. The invitation into adult means the energy goes into this “executive” part which can then take over the process and operate in the here and now.  The transferring of that energy means one has the chance to have so much more zest.  This is because living in script can be exhausting and time consuming and thus, zaps the energy resources that are so significant for well-being.

It seems that we as human beings are part of each others construction.  We hold anxiety because we are fright -flight animals thus, are involved in the co-creation of existential angst.  The idea of existentialism is that we all hold fears about life and this is normal.  In addiction, individuals find self soothers that have profound effects on their psyche and behaviours.  Therefore, what once soothed this existential angst then becomes counderproductive to this and results in heightening the fears.

With this in relation to Step 8 , it is inevitable that we are all co-creators of how we relate and what we get out of life.  The step 8 offers hope that what we once co-created that became uber negative and destructive with others in our life can now have the opportunity for change.  First we have to look at the narrative of the co-created story of self.  This involves writing the list of significant others who were part of that story.

This is part of our life script which is co-created with others having influences on the decisions we made in our lives even before cognitive awareness.  Our relational self is significant even before birth by the mother keeping us safe in the womb and us being effected by her well being.  Then later on as babies and  children we have others in our lives that influence how we feel by how they relate to us, their behaviours and  own scripts.

Here I see it as “script influences script”  there are the intergenerational effects of this from family members to each other.  There are the influences of each individuals scripts impacting each other.  I often feel in group therapy that if I have 8 people in the room I have all their families and anyone who has had relational influences in their lives.  In other words and simple terms “our scripts all influence each other”  and this is often out of awareness..

I see people as living in a kind of “big soup” together offering different ingredients and chemistry.  With each ingredient giving different flavours and textures.  Life has this rich flavour and we all contribute to this soup and invite others to be part of this process also.

Existential writers such as Ernesto Spinelli write about human anxiety, uncertainty and relatedness.  That we are part of others, a system, a culture and to understand the self with ones fears we need to see our co-creation.  There is “inter-relational grounding to all subjective experience that holds meanings and behaviours”.  In our hearts lie distinctly our ways of examining the world which has influence on how we understand ourselves.

Spinelli (2001) “No choice can be mine or yours alone, no experienced impact of choice can be separated in terms of “my responsibility” versus “your responsibility”, no sense of personal freedom can truly avoid its interpersonal dimensions”.

This is reflective that although we have made choices and the individuals in our lives may have kept boundaries, gone away or held back.  This does not mean that it does not have interpersonal dimensions thus consequences for the self and others.  We are not isolated but a sum of many parts in the co-creation of our own story. This has impact, influences, exposes, moves  and touches us .  With this we can see why listing  those in our lives is important.  This experience also applies to them as part of the co-created system of how we function in the relational world.  Bandura called this the concept of “reciprocal determinism”.

This step invites awareness by reflection and personal house-clearing in preparation for the de-cluttering that relates to Step 9.  To set out to see from the perspective of the other and clean out the bruised relationships, pockets of guilt, pain, fear, resentment and sadness stored inside.

It allows the self to look at the social construction as personal inventory.  This can include so much emotional material which has be dealt with and blocks the love that human beings have in their hearts.  Without this step the toxic residue will be carried in life to virtually every episode that one engages in because of the shame, hurt and rejection.  Even if this has been mostly created by the individual themselves.

This steps provides the opportunity to reduce this guilt by setting things on a different path just by the focus of writing a list in preparation for this process.  This is because it asks “who is in your life” “what are your relationships”.  It is part of your script and asks you to write down the participants of your life story.  Your narrative, your book and the characters involved that have become part of “who you are”.

The sadness is that because of situations and the illness of addiction one looses “who they are”.  Or a sense of this which leaves their identity in crisis. The step 8 is about looking at the system where the individual had a sense of self and not allowing the denial of this.

It allows the grief of what can be potentially lost forever and the opportunity to find hope.  It can be a release of feelings and even resentments and can engage us in a high degree of emotional integrity.  It brings people on the list to life and makes the relationship with them seem more real.  It evokes memories, thoughts, feelings, intentions and the inspiration that change is possible.

It has the potential to replace judgement with a different attitude of humility and mercy.  That to engage in this is a willingness to be different  which will develop the emotional maturity that will eventually lead to emotional resolution.

We can also forgive if others have harmed us which can be on the list as this is part of our self construction.  We need to accept “life for life” and “people for people”.  This means giving the benefit of the doubt and that people have faults or flaws that leave them vulnerable to harm others.  It is not our job to be concerned with their inventory or mention their transgressions or faults.  That the human condition “rightly or wrongly” means that pain inflicted on us can be an accident of circumstance because of the complexity of the animal that we are.

We are all part of an external world and interdependent as we are not animals that develop in isolation .  A Social Psychologist called Milgram researched personal networks and the  complexities of the processes involved.  He had a lovely way of putting the deeper understanding of the structure of our communicational networks which illuminate the nature of self and society. “In some sense, at least, we are all bound together in a tightly knit social fabric”.

There are so many different types of relational network studies in psychology today which goes to show how much the self is part of external process.  How we must be willing to look at these external processes and take social inventory to really engage in the programme.

These networks include “intimates” who are of the most importance such as , spouse, parents, close friends and children.  The exchange networks are those who provide material or symbolic support.  The interactive networks are those with whom we relate to with identification or passing the time.  These can be enjoyable and shift energy and include friends, colleagues and even acquaintances.

There is a lot of significance attached to our network as this is part of our construction of self.  They allow us to integrate, feel wholesome and offer belonging.  Our social mobility, companionship and support is fundamental to our mental health and well being.  We all need different relationship dynamics to share and feel happy.  To be incorporated into family and society where we can share values, beliefs, interests and friendships.

There have been heaps of research on studies of stress, depression and social support.  Strong links have been identified between mental health and a lack of network impacting the individual. Social exchange theory is regarded as a important research in understanding how humans function best.  That individual construction is based on how we perceive ourselves within our social settings and family.  That the exchanges of mutual rewards and satisfaction in assessing the benefits of relationships are important.  That we all have emotional subjective experiences of significance in relation exchanges with others.

This is where the step 8 is relevant in looking at the significance of the inventory list of others in our lives.  It cannot be denied that this list is important for our emotional well being and future health.  This list is for others and also for ourselves so that we can firstly stop being in denial that those on this inventory are important to what “we are” as human beings.

Our script can be seen as being made up of our own amphitheatre of our life. The word relates to mainly Greek and Roman architecture with the amphitheatre being a round building .  This is often unroofed which gives feel of the sky looking down upon what’s going on.  It is inside but with the feel of mother nature looking upon and within.  This can connect with a spiritual experience of the higher power being part of a amphitheatre.  It also has a central space for presentation for dramatic events with tiers of seats for spectators.

This is how a visualisation of ones life can be similar to an amphitheatre production of drama, relationships and experiences that impact.  What is often there is reciprocal determinism where the presentation and who presents impacts the audience.  Within this amphitheatre each individual has impacted each other and this becomes live and dramatic.  If one imagines this and then thinks about who would be present it can be really powerful.  As people from the past can become part of this presentation of the drama of ones life.

Goffman a Psychologist wrote about Drama Theory in relation to people and life with all its roles.  That we are on a stage and we have a certain role that we have played that we know very well because of the length of time we have been in this.  We know the regalia , We know the words. We know the expectations, We know the outcome. We know the potential emotion evoked.  We know the repetitive patterns which invite an outcome. We know how to do this role whether positive or negative.  We are familiar with this role so we stick with it.

Human beings are creatures of habit in many ways and writing the list of others in a step 8 relates to the Amphitheatre of ones life coming to the front of the mind.  Just like writing a list is looking at the characters that are or were within the drama production of your play in life.  You have to know the characters and the impacts, relationships, what has happened, any consequences, the stages of the story and who was there, who is important to you, how you were in relation to them in this play of life.  You have to know all these things to be able to change the play.

Script is the same in that it contains significant others who played a part in ones life.  They “whoever they are” impacted, determined and were part of the construction of self or certain episodes that were part of the creation. Its so important to look at this and writing a list is a pro-active first stage to focus on how we are co-created.  This does not mean that one does not take responsibility for ones one life and process.