With the challenges to be faced with “life on Life’s terms”. It is inevitable that individuals may get rebellious in relation to accepting flaws or defects. Rebellion is a character defect that spoils us. The important thing is not to lose faith when we become rebellious. In Transactional Analysis it is seen as part of the child ego state and a reaction to the environment. The idea of being in adapted child and rebellious child sounds so different and apart. However, both are a reaction to the environment and expectational others. If one adapts for to long it is likely that this will inevitably switch to rebellion. This is important as it relates to the essence of Step 6. We are entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. This means a great deal is required emotionally and spiritually if one really wants recovery from addiction and script. The message of step 6 is NOT We are entirely ready to adapt to have God remove all these defects of character. Remember that god will not do for us what we can and should do for ourselves. Again its emotional maturity and wanting this process of change. If we adapt we are reinforcing further counter-productive survival strategies that will eventually fall down and we then have more defects and more resentment. To heal we need script change and re-decision from a heartfelt place and not adapting to something which we will later rebel against just like we did in childhood. The indifference or intolerance that rebellion can bring out in us has to be overcome by spiritual effort and an open heart. With this and looking at our defects we can invite script change from a healthy place even if there is a huge pull to go back to old ways. This gives us the resilience to have painful feelings but to not action them. If we are aware of defects we can offer opposite behaviours, thoughts and feelings as a way of doing something different from our painful life script which has potential to send us back to using. For example, if we use manipulative games to look good we can choose to be honest, candid and non-controlling which will get our needs met anyway. This is because people who live this way are seen in a positive and trustworthy light which builds confidence and self esteem. If we are self defeating we can put action into our lives which are self-fulfilling , no matter how small we see these actions its important that we give ourselves positives for this change in our life script. If we are suspicious and withdraw from others perhaps we could accept people with their flaws which could dilute our fear. Then we have a chance to become outgoing and trust in the spirit of life and not look for people to trip up. If they do they do, that’s their script and they don,t have to be part of ours so “set boundaries”. Generally the opportunities are endless, exciting and one can get healthy stimulation for productive life script changes, which includes working the opposites of the defects of character.
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I quite like aspects of rebellion, I feel it is important to have individuals who have the energy and suspicion of following the herd. I tend not to go along with a group just to fit in. Of course in my rebellion I may have said “I don’t care what they think – when in reality of course I did deep down. It is not surprising that those that have developed strong defensive positions becuase of earlier hurts are going to be angry and rebellious. Also at least there is energy in the mix and that energy can be redirected into a better relationship with the world. And those defenses end up doing more harm than good, then the addict must shift that distructive energy into something positive.
My own feelings about the recovery programme was that it can seem rather passive and involve endless submissions and loss. I think that is a stage in the process and I now see that in fact letting go of damaging defensive positions in reality increases assertivness and a positive wholesome feeling of power, not to be at the mercy of compusion, but to engage with much greater freedom.
It was very important for my own recovery to get ANGRY in the comminity because I am a reactive emotional person. Those same responses can be turned round into a positive energetic involvement with others without the fear and that gives me more autonomy on how I react to the world.
Once I was angry for about two days; I think it was about feeling dscounted and I also I was scared of asserting myself (what a classic combination!). In retrospect this was clearly childhood family stuff coming up. During the quiet aftermath I experienced a shift deep inside. Rather than having to admit that I was wrong and Bayberry were right or that I was still right but I had “got over it” I had the curious feeling that none of it really mattered!