I can see how the fellowship helps individuals with their feelings of fear and uncertainty.  It is perhaps a safe place which dilutes the hostility that life in the external world can feel to some people.  It is also somewhere where individuals can be heard and seen which is about validation and attunment.  The idea and experience of belonging which is fundermental to human needs because of our early attachment processes.  Here one can feel a sense of importance thus power rather then powerlessness in a appropriate and safe way.  The fellowship can provide a containment rather like the early bonding process that we needed as infants.  To feel that others are there and we dont have to survive alone.  Or even to feel that we now can survive and “be” because in fact we never have to be alone.  The human infant does not survive in life alone and therefore our need for attachment is transfered into our adult lives.  Here if people attach to the fellowship it provides this attunment and containment which sooths and heals over time.  Here we can see that this is much more then going to a few meetings and ticking boxes.

The above can leave human beings in a very fearful place.  I see that our needy self which relates to early attachment and dependency as the begining of our creation of fear.  This is because we were totally dependent on others for our survival.  This begins with a need for human contact, soothing and feeding.  Our search for certainty and control in a world where we may have felt  scared because we were not always successfully soothed or fed straight away can be experienced  as hostile to an infant. This because we are association annimals.  In other words all our experiences impact us because of our emotionality and level of consciousness.  These experiences are then carried over.  It  is transferable from our past script experiences to our present life.  You only have to look around society to see how people from all sorts of walks of life strive for some power and control.  This is from gangs on the street to business and deals of one upmanship.  On some level much is all the same and emotionally driven as a way of making ourselves more comfortable, important , validated and life then seeming to hold some meaning.  By definition powerlessness is about being without the ability, influence, importance, strength, impact , control and status.  All of these come in a multitude of different and diverse forms.

1/ Powerlessness over ones script because it holds unconscious material which impacts feelings, thoughts and behaviours on life, others and the self.

2/ Higher Power can also be about developing ones own internal nurturing and compassionate parental introject. “A swallowed whole”, ” healthy directing life mentor”.

3/  To be willing to surrender relating to putting down defences that don’t really work for you in your contemporary life, they are counterproductive to being peaceful and happy.

4/ Our own personal inventory is about understanding our role in our own script and lifestory.

5/  Sharing with another is about taking the risk to trust , let go and just be without secrets.

6/ Defects of character are ones flaws or gritty bits and how these traits do not help us.

7/ Our humble and compassionate nativator which helps us to cathect our adult.

8/ A list of significant others that have impacted our lives allows the script to be external to us.  We can see how the roles of others have been important to our life story and how we have hurt and impacted thus, can make amends.

9/ This step is about taking the action on amends and help us to develop a healthy internal parent.

10/ The maintainance of a inventory process allows self reflection, ownership of our lives and helps us stay in reality.

11/ The conscious contact with higher power in whatever form that makes sense to us can help our spiritual connection which has a domino effect on all parts of our life .

12/ The giving of service helps human beings with their needy part which can highten selfishness.  This is by balancing and grounding us as what we think we often need we actually dont.  Rather then seeking this by giving to others and the process of altruism we get to feel good anyway.

All of the above will be explored and discussed in much more depth over the coming weeks.

What a mouthful way of looking at self, development and script.  However, script is often a mouthful and a mindful.  It is not all negative and we are doomed by our scripts.  They can hold a lot of beneficial qualities in human preservation, joy and fun and love.  However, in addiction script can really hold power in relapse by its sheer forcefulness because of early attachment needs.  The last part of the soup that may make sense with this relates to defenses.  It holds irony that we as humans are so clever at constructing these and they helped our survival.  However, they can be something that as adults that don’t help us in relationships or intimacy or looking after the self.  They often operate automatically to keep the script in place. There are so many defenses that we can use from not being authentic and real, not being close, intellectualisation, displacement of feelings, acting out our pain by using,  taking internal crisis out on others, trying to be right all the times, opinionated and cruel.  etc etc etc.  The list is endless and it operates automatically and compulsively to keep us safe .  When what the human being really needs, is to be authentic and real, loved, cherished and belong.

This means our way of percieving and interpreting the world and others.  The first basis of this is from birth and early attachment styles which means the feelings we once had can drive the way we see the world as adults.  Here we can see why we may distort our experiences to fit our scripts as these hold our frames of reference which once made sense.  Human beings are security basis animals which means they construct these sense making “frames of reference” to create safety, reasoning and understanding.  However, this also mean that these sophisticated ways of once staying safe are not always useful ways to see the world in the present.  We can redefine reality to fit script to feel safe.  This can be so counterproductive as it made sense historically but life may be very different now.  Here we are powerless over a frame of reference because it relates to early life emotion, survival and self preservation thus script decisions and out of awareness.

One can be powerless over script because it is the unconscious life plan constructed in childhood and reinforced by subsequent experiences.  This includes our attachments styles to parents, significant others, peer groups and relationships.  The very formation of this process from birth means that much was built from feelings thus our of awareness.  With this how can we have power over the script process itself if we are not aware how can we understand it?  In addiction those that white knuckle life can be holding some significant script residue that has been unprocessed and thus continues to cause pain.

I am going to throw in the soup that is script which is often a mix of all sorts of ingredients that are emotional.  This soup shows why i believed that individuals are powerless over their script.  Therefore in relapse prevention the awareness of script can be such a great asset in ones toolbox.  The script is full of information from birth that is collected by feelings, early attachment patterns, introjected “swallowed whole” experiences of others that had impact, belief systems, fantasies and covert messages that can have implications.  The intrapsychic process is a filing system of complexity which is like a road map in someones head that includes all the small streets.  Therapists often go off-road onto the small streets to find the subtle messages that hold the beliefs one has about themselves that gives the data which highlights childhood strategies of survival.  It is said even in a happy household the child can experience the world as hostile due to its dependency.  Here could we say that childhood hold inevitable trauma for all individuals which can link to the contaminated belief systems even the most blessed people can hold.  INTERESTING QUESTIONS BUT NO TOTALITY ANSWERS YET AVAILABLE?  With script there are pay-off in getting ones needs met, other material can be dis-missed from childhood to reinforce survival.  Here we can see how robust we are in making sure that we create a reality that makes sense at that time for survival.  The script can offer magical solutions to the issues of life because it was constructed at that time in our developments.  The biggest thing we need as human beings is strokes which are emotional units of recognition.  Without these our survival is implicated and we can shrivel into ourselves.  Remember the Romanian orphans rocking in their cots to self sooth.  Deprived of human contact and love and intimacy. We need emotional recognition  whether positive or negative, conditional or unconditional, verbal or non verbal.  The early attachment patterns as babies are strokes from bonding and feeding being secure, contained and safe.  The primal needs of this and feeding relates to the stimulus hunger that human beings thrive on for survial.  This primal drive can be seen in addiction.  The drive to feed, the drive for emotional connection, the drive to self sooth, the drive for love, the drive to be attuned to, the drive to be seen and heard.  This all forms the basis of early life and is transfered into adulthood and is presented in our scripts.  We all still need the same stuff as we did as infants even if it is in different form.  This can be manifested in sexual relationships, hedonism, being important, having enough money, belonging, connecting, being heard, being loved. HUMAN BEINGS ARE NEEDY.  On some level is being needy natural considering our primal needs and early attachment dependency?  This soup of script is only a small percentage of what is the essence of script process.

There is so much stuff in ones dynamic unconscious that even with analysis we only become aware of a small percentage.  However, this can be enough to keep us balanced, healthy and live to lifes full potential.  I am often asked what does script consist of which is not always an easy question to answer in a simple non-psychobabble way.  The structure and content of our minds holds stored memories and strategies that once held the reasoning for child logic of survival.  This is the emotional data that therapists infer from on  why people experience life,  others and  the world the way they do.   We all have logic that was constructed from years ago which corresponds to our attachments with others and experiences in our development.  The script can then present with thoughts , feelings and behaviours that relate to these processes that were laid in the years where we were making sense of the world as infants.  Here how we behave feel and act is not always adult because our first strategies were laid down at a time of infant logic and goverened by how we felt and not so much about how we thought.  Here it can be confusing as behaviours in the “here and now” can relate to script survival patterns that once worked.  So why would what made sense in childhood and worked for our survival be appropriate now?  The answer to that is it is not always appropriate and that is why people find themselves in difficulties that don’t always make sense to them.  This is where the script leaves people powerless as a lot of the material can relate to the dynamic unconscious.  To me its not rocket science to then say “we cant manage what we dont know”.  This is where script awareness can be a fundamental gift in ones treatment for addiction.  Its the awareness that gifts one with the  “stuff of self” which then offers understanding to why we feel a certain way or experience something in a way that is different from others.  This can release people from the confusion which can be a burden in life.  Why carry stuff around we dont need to?

To own that we are powerless is not in human nature generally.  While individuals have to come into accepting that they are powerless over substance or certain addictive and destructive behaviours they are also powerless in their script.  This is because script can out of conscious awareness govern so much of someones life path and is often driven by feelings which turn into motivational drivers.  These psychological processes work to reinforce our frames of reference which are about how we see the world, how we see others who are in the world and our relationships, how we see situations and percieve experiences, how we see our lives and eventually these can even link to how our lives end up and even end.  That sends a shiver down my spine as people do live out their life script.  It is only last year and the memories are still fresh of watching my father at the end of his life script having succeeded in living the process through to the end of his story.  He died a sad, confused, tortured and lonely man twisted by his paranoia, estranged from those who loved him because of trust issues and love of money.  Though not addicted to substance he was to money which i regard as also a substance that has potential to infect if not used and balanced in the right way.  A life script lived out, held in place by stubborness and believing that he knew best.  Stuck in fear as his contamined beliefs and defences drove him along a path that i would not wish on anyone.  This is my belief in the power of life script.  If one does not know enough about the dynamics that work in the psychological process , how can one not be powerless.  I know certain writers such as Covey believe in conditioning and that humans have a choice thus can re-condition.  I do agree with this but it does sometimes only touch the surface for some people.  What about those who are not aware of what they need thus what to do with re-conditioning-  Or those who are driven by feelings so powerful they are out of control and dont hold the logic to stop.  Individuals with existential issues hold this dilemma which can have tragic consequences.  The story of ones birth lived out in life such as “dont exist” if one was not wanted can provide a frame to carry into adulthood where people can behave in such ways that they act out their own demise.  This is without even being aware of what is driving them and possibly making assumptions about “this is just the way i am”.  There is so much to learn about these powerful dynamics that link to emotional powerlessness.  I believe that the more people learn about their life script then the more chance they have of managing.  Afterall, how can you manage what you dont know?

For the begining of this year and possibly going into spring i want to write about the steps and how they fit with psychotherapy thinking and life script.  It is something that i have been working on since starting in the field of addiction over 3 years ago.  The steps for me is a healthy framework for life that combines many levels of thought, feeling and actions.  From recognition of vulnerability and powerlessness to love and relationships with self, others,  higher power and spirituality. How we interact with the world and with those who we are attached.  This impacts our very soul as human beings live in relation to each other and have a need to belong.  The steps provide action in taking responisbility  with taking personal  inventory thus, being aware of our own conduct.  To making amends for any wrongs we have done which offers a healing hand to others.  With the process of the healing hand to others we can wish for resolutions but this is not the reason for the step.  Its about doing what is right   thus, keeping ones side of the street free of toxic contaminations that can follow us through life.  There is something very ancient and wise about these steps that go way beyond the  times that they were put together by 2 individuals who defied any medical model for recovery and healing. Wow wow and wow this never stops amazing me.  It fills   me with a spiritual glow in what this is all about for all of us.