I WAS PART OF A VERY MOVING AND INSPIRING AFTERCARE GROUP ON TUESDAY AND IT IS A REMINDER OF HOW IMPORTANT CONNECTION, INTIMACY, TRANSPARENCY AND SELF AWARENESS IS.  Being able to share about your script and recognising what would send you back to using which was before out of awareness.  From being superwoman and overwhelmed to letting oneself off the hook and reaching out and getting support.  To not staying with an old belief of “I am only tolerated”.  But letting others in and taking on board your importance and how you are regarded.  Cared for and caring in a supportive and intimate way.  Even when times are difficult when there is regret the constant work on acceptance and how hard this is.  Our evolving self is a working process in recovery and in life.

In my work I do not look at things being either right or wrong, black or white, certain or uncertain.  Some would regard this as the new trendy way of focusing on the grey areas that are inevitably life.  I would rather look at this as a acceptance that this is part of life’s fabric.  Here I don’t feel the need to pronounce or announce formally about how useful life script work is.  I like to leave the process as a form of dialogue which includes opening up and  listening.  To much formality could invite debating which can be adversarial and about winning or loosing.

On Sunday I facilitated a group that was about script, change, sharing experiences, empathy and support. During the group process you could see the individuals scripts in action.  From wanting to be seen and heard but not quite knowing if this is happening to being the one who is pleasing and offering information and then smoothing any ground that holds uncertainty.  To the individual who hears a positive in their progress but inside their heads they are telling themselves this is not the case.  Additionally, one member who shared first found a relief in just being able to say which is something which did not happen historically. Through this a script change could be seem in how this person dialogues with more assertiveness.  To the individual who wanted to check out of members found what they were working on silly or stupid.  Getting a reality check from a peer group really helps to dilute script beliefs rather then reinforce them.  All in all it shows that sharing , support and care shifts energy and that being relational with people who we trust is important.  I was inspired by this group who have chosen to work on self which can be really hard work but rewarding. If you put the work in changes can be made.

Life Scripts, addiction and Recovery

Once an individual is helped to identify their life script process they can begin to raise awareness to how this unconscious process contributes to repetitive patterns of behaviour.  Such script driven behaviour may be detrimental to an individuals well being and in the context of addiction and recovery may be a powerful driver to continued relapse.  This new information could be ground breaking in the form of a new perspective on how an individual would see their past/present relationships and how they view themselves in the world.  When an individuals awareness is raised regarding their script and how they continue to play it out in the present this may highlight the importance of change and also be the driver in changing repetitive patterns of behaviour that restrict growth.

Peer group supervision is something that I am involved in on a monthly basis. This month I was interviewed in how I greet clients and feel about this and any importance attached to this process.  How I invite them into an alliance and then a  working process.  The outcome was that this involved my script which is something that I have never really explored.  I don’t really like formal settings so my work room is homely , comfy and inviting.   I am laid back and smiley and ask them “How do you feel about being here”?.  The list goes on?????   It all sounds like this is very much people and client based which to some extent is true.  However it is also very relevant to my history and often feeling the rigidity of my upbringing and formal settings.   It is so simple and obvious which is typical of script.  “How often have people said to me”. “Why did I not think of that.” We never stop learning about the self and it can be so interesting.  I want to thank my peer for this insight.

I always find aftercare groups with individuals in recovery inspiring.  It gives me energy, motivation, drive and is a reminder of what the reasons  of being a therapist in the addiction field is all about.  “For me personally”.   Its great to see people well and learning about themselves and accounting for their experiences. Added to this is their growing knowledge about the emotional processes that underpin their actions, thoughts and feelings.  I like to look at this in terms of “Life Script” which can determine how we see things and how we experience and deal with life.  Sharing about experiences is sharing about life script.  Learning that perhaps life does not have to be defined by processes that make us feel uncomfortable.  For me seeing individuals understanding some of these processes thus, then being able to get some release, manage or work through the discomfort is really inspiring and courageous.

The importance of being in touch with feelings also includes our pain.  People who suffer with addiction can avoid the pain with using as a form of defence and feeding for comfort.  Similarly the script is constructed with defences and shields that protect one from any dis-comfort.  This can manifest in many ways with values, judgement , prejudices, anger, dislikes and likes. We can be propelled along by our script habits as a form of holding onto security and comfort which at times is meaningless.   Sometimes our opinions and beliefs are truly arbitrary.  If we go near our pain and feel the often groundlessness of sorrow we can then connect with a natural warmth.

Sometimes in this work I can feel sad at the limitations of the care that one is able to give in private practise. I know that people really struggle especially when they are working through difficult stuff.  One example was when a lady was eventually hospitalised and crying out for more help and containment and I can only refer to a crisis team and only offer my services which have obvious limitations. This can take me back to when as a family we were seeking help from services due to my fathers emotional difficulties.  I felt vulnerable and hopeless as its painful to be part off and watch.